He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
