i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
