C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize