Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The Olympian is in my bed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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