doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
