these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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