2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize