had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
