i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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