Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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