May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
