PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
