Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize