I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
