Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
