TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
