i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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