That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
