I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm at about main and main street
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
