I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
