this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize