Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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