I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
