so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
