I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
