I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
