I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wish my penis had a tongue
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
