nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
