I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
