I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
