What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
