Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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