remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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