Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
