can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
