what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
