How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
