Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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