Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
