I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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