i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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