Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
