is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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