But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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