i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Are my feet made of real feet?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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