Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
