There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize