I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
