But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
