you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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