you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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