we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
