That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
