Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize