Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize