i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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