he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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