I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
