So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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