That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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