i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We need a shit load of segways right now
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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