I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think your dad took our porno
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
